


i'll seek you out (just to find myself)

by Red (S_Hylor), SirSapling



Series: Bingo Round 1 2019 [1]
Category: Marvel Ultimates
Genre: Domestic Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Ults Characters Deserve Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 20:56:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17753384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S_Hylor/pseuds/Red, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirSapling/pseuds/SirSapling
Summary: In which Steve doesn't know how to put his feelings into words; but that's okay, with Tony he doesn't need to.





	i'll seek you out (just to find myself)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bardingbeedle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bardingbeedle/gifts).



> This is an idea spawned from my (sap) and beedles many rambles about how much we love grumpy Steve and his convoluted issues with asking for affection that Tony always sees straight through. And since beed's birthday was coming up I begged Red to help me turn this into a proper fic. Happy Birthday beed, we love you.
> 
> (Sorry it's a couple days late, beed. Red was busy, then tired, then busy, then finally managed to get his butt into gear and write this and get it beta'd and posted)
> 
>  
> 
> Also sneaking this in for Red's bingo card, under "occupational hazard" because being apart and sleep deprived is an occupational hazard for these two. 
> 
> Thank you to [Judy_The_Dreamer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Judy_The_Dreamer/pseuds/Judy_The_Dreamer) and [KittKat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittKat) for the beta work.

Tony is so busy talking to Anthony that he doesn’t hear the door open, so much as he feels the pressure change in the room. Turning around he swipes away a holo screen, revealing the distorted figure at the door to be  Steve. Tony can’t help the smile he flashes at Steve, despite the sudden fatigue that hits him now that he’s no longer solely focused on the work he was doing for Fury. 

“Well, look what the cat dragged in, Anthony,” Tony says, grinning at the boy working at one of the other screens nearby. 

Anthony smiles back, sitting cross-legged, hovering in the air before the screen, and raising one hand to wave at Steve despite the fact that he knows he can’t be seen. “Could have been a tiger, they are the strongest of the big cats due to their size. Though the jaguar has the strongest bite, which would help with hanging onto Captain America in order to drag him in.” 

Unable to help himself, Tony barks out a laugh. “Right on, kiddo. Now you might want to give us a moment, I think the grown ups need to talk.” 

Anthony nods, turning back to the screen he was working on, face scrunched up in concentration. Giving the boy one last glance, Tony moves away from the workstation towards the door where Steve is still standing. 

“Hello, darling,” he murmurs gently as he stops in front of Steve, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips. Steve, radiating tension, is slow to react, only starting to return the kiss as Tony rocks back away from him. “Is everything alright?” 

There’s a moment's pause, in which Steve won’t quite look at him, before he nods tersely. His eyes focus on the workstation and the empty space where he can’t see Anthony. “I’m interrupting.” 

There’s a tightness in the pinched corners of Steve’s mouth, in the creases of his frown, that Tony wants to smooth out, but he’s not entirely sure he’d get out of that exercise without his fingers broken. “We’re almost done with this job anyway.”

Nodding again, Steve stays standing there, thumbs tucked into his belt, still not quite looking at Tony. “I should let you finish.” 

There’s a protest, a consolation on the tip of his tongue, but Tony bites it back. There’s enough cues he’s picking up that he knows Steve isn’t exactly in a talking mood. Not that Tony has ever known him to be in a particularly vocal mood, even at the best of times. Although it’s been nearly two weeks since they’ve spent any time together, Tony’s not so stubborn that he can’t admit that he’s missed Steve, even if he had been wrapped up in work, and filling the empty hours of the nights with Anthony and the project that Fury had asked him to start. 

Lingering a moment longer beside Steve, Tony reaches out, squeezing his shoulder. “We’ll only be another ten minutes or so, if you want to wait.” 

It feels like a minor victory when Steve moves away from the door and goes to sit on the lounge chair against one wall. Tony watches him settle, still tense and prickly, his back too straight, eyes scanning the room over and over. There’s something wrong, he knows that even without asking, but trying to get Steve to talk about feelings is like pulling teeth. 

Going back to the workstation, Tony saves the work he was doing. He fusses around for a few moments, just to buy time, before he picks up a tablet, crossing back over to the lounge chair and dropping onto the cushion beside Steve. He feels Steve watching him, but keeps his focus deliberately on the tablet. “Just got a few more things to do, darling, and then I’m all yours.” 

Steve huffs a breath that sounds both frustrated and resigned, but doesn’t say anything. Giving it another few minutes, Tony shifts, settling into the cushions more. He crosses one leg over the other, propping the tablet on his knee so he can use it with one hand. The other hand he rests on Steve’s thigh, feeling it jump beneath his touch. After a few breaths he feels Steve start to relax a fraction beside him. 

Taking a chance, Tony rubs his hand backwards and forwards along Steve’s thigh a few times before speaking again. “How was the mission?” 

“Long.” Steve grumbles, but doesn’t elaborate. Another few breaths and he drops one of his hands to cover Tony’s, curling their fingers together. “How’s—how’s Anthony?” 

Tilting his head enough to watch Steve out the corner of his eye, Tony can see the downward turn to the corners of his mouth, the pinched lines between his eyes and the concern there. He can see it well enough to know what questions Steve isn’t asking but wants to.  _ Are you you still dying? Am I going to lose you soon? _

“He’s been good. We’ve been working hard on a project, it’s been fun.” Tony replies, voice deliberately light, and hopes that Steve can hear the answers that he isn’t giving.  _ Always, but no quicker than most people. Probably, but it won’t be Anthony that kills me, he’s promised to stop growing. _

Steve nods again, running his tongue between his bottom lip and his teeth, working his jaw from side to side, before he fixes his gaze on the workstation again. “Tell him I say hello.” 

Biting back the smile he can feel trying to creep onto his face, Tony squeezes Steve’s hand gently. Steve is trying, more than a lot of people, and really that’s all Tony can ask for. From the corner of his eye he can see Anthony wave over his shoulder at them. “He says hello back.” 

As they lapse back into silence, Tony keeps working on his tablet, intermittently squeezing Steve’s hand, getting pressure returned more frequently the longer he does it. He’s not sure how much time has passed before he feels Steve relax enough that he slumps sideways, his weight settling against Tony’s side, head on his shoulder. Tilting his head to rest his cheek against Steve’s hair, Tony saves the work on his tablet and sets it aside. 

“You tired, darling? You should go to bed,” he whispers, turning his head until he can press his lips to Steve’s forehead. 

Steve’s body stiffens again, hand tightening almost painfully around Tony’s. “You gonna come too?” 

There’s still work to do, but Tony knows it can wait, even if Fury insists that it can’t. “As if I’d ever pass up the chance to get you in bed, sweetheart.” 

“To sleep, Stark,” Steve grumbles, but his shoulders relax again. The words, combined with the tone, are evidence to the fact that he suspects Tony has barely slept in the past two weeks.

Kissing his forehead again, Tony lets out an exaggerated sigh. “You spoil all my fun. Keep saying things like that and I’ll start to think you didn’t miss me.” 

That gets a reaction. Steve sits up straight quickly enough that his head nearly knocks into Tony’s nose. Then he’s twisting in his seat, reaching out and gripping the side of Tony’s face. Finally making eye contact, Steve glares in frustration. “Don’t be stupid.”

Not even bothering to hide his smile this time, Tony leans in closer, ghosting lips against Steve’s. “You can’t blame me for fishing for compliments occasionally.” 

Steve gives him a blurry frown, huffs out a frustrated breath into Tony’s mouth. “Like your ego needs any more inflating, Stark.” 

Bringing his hands up, Tony runs his fingers through Steve’s hair, tracing the shell of his ears, cupping the back of his head, holding him in place so he can trail light kisses along Steve’s cheek, feeling stubble against his lips. “You’re right. I can barely fit my head through the door as it is. Now stop stalling, I believe I was promised bed.” 

“To sleep.” 

“For now, certainly, darling. But after we sleep, it’s a free for all. And I believe we have two weeks of sexual frustration to work out.” 

“Whatever you say, Tony,” Steve grouches, rolling his eyes, but then he kisses Tony, hard, and it’s an agreement: an  _ I missed you _ , an  _ I worried about you,  _ and an  _ I love you _ all rolled into one action. 

  
  



End file.
